Fathom 38: How Dare I?!

 

'What is The Most Daring Thing I've Ever Done?' 🤔

• Flying to coop, paying the Price of Freedom... on a whim; a Knowing 🕊️🔮
• Leaving the nest, paying the price for Honesty 💔💩
• Daring or cowardice is a matter of Perception, a shift signifies GROWTH ꩜🤯
• My SSASS-Y Self has a more Heartfelt Mindset 💖
• Remembering that Intention Matters, easing the fear that I made mistakes... I chose to live my Values, no regrets 🙏🙉

Fathom 37: Tizzy & Dizzy, The Divergent Tethered Twins

Part 1: Chariot Take Two & Tense Tactical Tizzy

• Revisiting the Chariot, Horseys and Driver with my own Spicy spin 💫꩜
• Google search inspired tears as I seek to understand myself once and for all (Picture Evidence Below) 🤓😭
• Mystifying masking... Small wonder I felt confused & struggled to discern my particular flavours 🤔😳
• Getting to know Tizzy, my 'Tism... That silly shit that's addicted to routine & need control 💩😇

 

Part 2: Dynamic Daring Dizzy & Critical Couplings

• Dizzy comes by her name sake honestly... Everything all at once, all the time; all perspectives running (literally!) in parallel, constant Observation & Reflection... RELENTLESS! 😅😫
• Daring Dizzy & Tireless Tizzy, keeping the peace (unconsciously) by demanding their own time & activities 🤯
• It's finally time to tether through UNDERSTANDING, enabling SSASS-Y Acceptance 💞🙏

Part 3: Venturing Forth In Awareness & Gratitude

• Checking the couplings, hazards, intentions of each and giving both what they need to thrive, as one whole 😍😎
• Everybody has different types of horseys that can pull them all in different directions, but we're all capable of regaining control 💯💪
• Neurotypical FOMO... realising what's spooked my horseys my whole life, and made me perceive them as stunted, faulted; a dangerous and self-defeating Lie 😕🙉
• Finding, FINALLY, that I have the best possible combination to fulfil my potential 🥳🪽💖

Fathom 36: Patchwork Heart

 

Broken-Hearted Or Built-Up Beauty 🤔

• Differences between EQ and IQ & the analogical set up 💓🧠
• Reflecting on all the people/places I've lost in various ways 🤔😕
• Turning 'patchy' Pity into something far more beautiful, Beneficial & whole 😇
• My internal relationship's impact on my external 'patchy' history, how easily this was Misperceived leading to the internalised "Hot Mess" label 💩😅
• The power of SHIFTING MINDSETS & why it's tough to gain the Awareness required 💡🤯
• Relation to my SSASS-Y intention & staying aligned to this healthier 'quilted' and integrated mindset 🙏💝

Fathom 35: Chariot of Fire

 

Note: Full notes provided below to aid in absorption & processing of this rather neuroscience & Rabbit-Hole heavy analogy. 🤓

Disclaimer: These are my vlog notes, which are not up to my usual-highly pedantic & thorough-writing standard. 🤓🤓

Part 1: Set Up 🃏 & Limibic Lizard-Horsey Hybrid 🦎

• Tarot preamble (Enter Ctrl+F for 'Tarot'), lest we all climb up on our judgy-as high horseys.  The Healing modality that I know has helped me in the past and will once again support my 2026 SSASS-Y intention.🔮😇
• I interpret the two unicorns/horses as two distinct areas of our brains...If & when we allow either horse to bolt, we’re going to land in the ditch. 💩💣🛞
  • My Limbic brain is prone to bolting big time! As a horse, it’s a skittish-if not Prickly-horse. Constantly looking for a threat to respond to, to keep it stimulated in this otherwise rather dull world. Unfortunately since most people have relatively safe environments (food, water, shelter, Belonging, etc) it goes off track and Misperceives threats left right and centre! 👀🫣
    • I've come to Accept mine as very sensitive and generally fearful... whether innate GAD neurology or trauma Response, I can’t say nor do I believe they can be decoupled at this point. 🏇
    • Other people’s limbic horses may be more prone to freezing or flocking (i.e. wandering off to join other horses, aka people pleasing); either way it spells bad news for the direction of the Chariot! 🧊🐑

Part 2: My Pretty PFC Pony 🐎

• Then there’s the Pre-Frontal Cortex (PFC), our only hope of balancing the limbic system with open mindedness, consideration of the bigger picture and rational analysis. Unfortunately, this horse's growth takes much longer than the limbic horse, putting us on the back foot until our late 20s to early 30s. 🤦👎
• It also requires far more energy & willful care, meaning we’ll default to our limbic-leading horse until we Train our underdeveloped PFC pony enough to even the score a bit. In a word, this is deliberate self developement. ➖➕🙏😊
  • It has quirks of its own however, my pretty little PFC pony is prone to hyper-analysis, compulsively needing to seek meaning out of every tiny aspect of life, every look, every move, every word… obsessed with understanding every minute detail and solving every mystery…. As a horse, this looks like running in f#%@-ing circles. It’s not only pointless, it’s exhausting! 💩🥴
    • And as I already stipulated with GAD, whether this is ‘Tism based OCD neurology or ‘Just Me’… well that’s the f#%@-ing circle I’ve been treading for about 9 years. 🤪
    • I highly suspect there's a genetic component, however, since time spent with my American Dad recently, indicated his brains work very much like my own. 🧬
  • To be completely honest, I can't hazard a guess about other peoples' PFCs... how they intake, process and manipulate incoming information and stimuli.... I suppose this is where things like the Myers Briggs personalities and HBDI thinking preferences comes into play; we're all the same and yet slightly different. I've worked with 'big picture / yellow brains' and I find them equal parts chaos and genius. 🤷🤔

Part 3: Discerning Driver 🏁 & Alloy Alternative🪫

• Onto the Driver, because we're more than just our two brains, analogically those two Asshole equines! I hope everybody realises this at some stage in their life... these horses don't get to decide our direction! Left to their own devices they'll likely get magnificently lost and take us somewhere we never intended to go! 😵👈👉👇👆 
• So it won't surprise anyone that I feel it's the drivers obligation to BE AWARE, of both horse's tendencies (i.e. self knowledge), pace, and general direction. Without Observing our horses with attention, compassion, acceptance and a bit of humour, well... what hope does any of us have?! 😅😎
• To make Wellness based decisions, to ensure we’re not wasting our energy, repeating thoughts/emotions/behaviours that aren’t serving us and our lives in a beneficial way, means we’ll need to SLOW DOWN around life’s twists and turns, stay aligned to our core values and moral compass, and headed in a direction that inspires sensations of Empowerment & Pride. 🚦👮
• Please, I'm begging you, if/when we find ourselves flogging or brutalising our 'horses' with judgments and unhealthy discipline... STOP, REFLECT, CHOOSE KINDNESS & UNDERSTANDING. Like any animal (humans especially!), they'll respond far more favourably to positive reinforcement rather than negative punishment. 🙏💖
• A second, more modern, analogy was inspired by my PHEV hybrid car. 🚗
• When I need a sudden burst of power (Limbic System) the petrol engine flicks on, but when I drive consciously and considerately (PFC), my electric motor is usually all I need. 
• It’s worth understanding these motors operate differently, experience different forms of stress, and need different types of fuel. 💫
• They also have different capacities, meaning we can live under Limbic threat for much longer than our PFC can tolerate complex loads on our attention. Regardless, they both need attentive care, fuel and rest unless we want to end up stranded in the proverbial wop wops. 😢😱
• Another important consideration is the overall impact on the environment.... For me, I'd much rather spend the time, attention and energy to primarily use my electric engine since it has less harmful environmental impacts long-term. 🍀
• To be clear, in this analogy, the 'environment' is my mental, emotional and physical wellbeing! And son-of-a-bitch, one day the fuel for that petrol engine is going to dry up... so we must take sustainability into account at some point. 🔥😬
• Again, for transparency, this relates to those of us who actively engage our PFC, build neuronal plasticity, and keep our stress/threat levels low. These people tend to live longer and with a better quality of life than the 'petrol heads.' And take it from someone who unexpectedly suffered a TBI, it drastically improves healing time and coping with such injuries! 🛜🧠
• Conclusion: Slow & Steady > Crash & Burn, but to do this we must get to know, understand and accept our coupled intelligence centres... ensure they're working with each other and not against each other. Simple words that require a lifelong Adventure. 🥳😎💞

NOTE: There are two other VII Chariot inspired works currently in creation!

1. Tizzy & Dizzy, The Divergent Tethered Twins [Links to Come]
2. Horsey Heart & Mulish Mind [Links to Come]

Fathom 34: Biological Belonging

Part 1: A Clinical Explanation for Gas-Lighting One's Self

• Exploring my SSASS-Y 2026 intention & obsession with labels... continued 😎
• A new awareness of Internalized Ableism (IA); how forcing myself to be normal ironically led me to psychologically implode at certain points along my lifes' adventure 🤔
• Coalescence into a common denominator... I don't want a label, I just want to BELONG & why belonging matters 💞 
• NOTE: The re-labeling system explained in The Reader's Guide 💡

Part 2: The Joy of Innate Belonging & Acceptance

• As within, so without; interesting insights into my previous 'Drivers' using this epiphany 🤯 
• Why all those historical labels never sated my curiosity & desire to understand myself in deeper more meaningful way 🚫
• Being American in New Zealand, and how I worked to 'Belong' in a country that feels like home 🥀
• Overcoming weaponised Feedback & accepting that I'm not to everyone's Taste ... I'm Divergently different, labelled or no 🙏

Fathom 33: [My] American Dad!

Part 1: International Travel Tips 🛫

• Previous 'Fathoms' refer to an upcoming surprise trip... so ... Here I am, coming to you live from South Carolina! 🎈🎉
• A few choice medications to ease international travel woes 😂😎
• Fact, "America Runs on Dunkin'," Broncos & southern hospitality🍵🚙🙏

Nothing better than a bible belt coffee! 😇

Part 2: 'Humble' American Pie 🎂

[NOTE: The internet shat itself so the video ends at 5mins, not 6mins 💩]

• Turns out that previously held internal beliefs mentioned during travels in China & Japan, once discussed, turns out to be false perceptions 😅🤷
• Don't hate, validate! 🤔💭💞

Part 3: Perceptive Reflections 🤔

• Relational obligations, lest we succumb to confirmation bias 😅💩
• SHARE with open, honest & transparent communication
• ASK for confirmation instead of creating and/or believing assumptions & perceptions
• Exploring how past assumptions stunted our relationship & how grateful I am for this opportunity to reconnect... no longer afraid of being American 😇🙏💖

Photo Album

USA Surprise! 🥳

NOTE: Click 'FEED VIEW' to see pictures from specific posts (i.e. By day instead of entire album)

Fathom 32: Resolution, SSASS!

 

Retrospective SSASS-Y Start 😅

• A fateful chance to fill in some ironic gaps, linking my intention (explained below 👇) to my god-given spices 😇
• The irony of my intentional resolve to NOT CHANGE A DAMN THING about myself 🙏

Intentional SSASS 😎

• My steadfast Knowing that IRONY is the language of the Universe 💫🐇
• My 2026 Intention: Sustain Self-Acceptance, Sera Summer (SSASS)! 😎💖
• Self-Acceptance, for me, is no longer optional... a realisation after I finally got an accurate taste of what it feels like 🤤🤯
• Pause, observe, go gently... This is going to take practice! 😅
• I trust this will bring me closer to the joy of being my authentic Self... regardless of whether or not it's due to innate neurodivergence or traumatic events that would benefit from healing 

Fathom 31: A Typically Atypical Christmas Gift

 

What are Our Ideal, Self-Bestowed, Christmas Gifts? 💝

• My spectral forms of the Christmas essentials: Food, Family & Fun! 🍖🎄🎉
• The ultimate gift for me: Understanding, Acceptance & a Celebration of My 'Tism... Finally Belonging! 🙏💖🐇
• The difference between my INNATE 'Tism versus the other fear-based & situational labels I've been handed, but have also healed (WIP!... Always a WIP😅😇)

A typically atypical Christmas conversation with my Sister... with no mention or acknowledgement of the holiday (the proof is in the pudding) 💖😂🤔

Yup, this pretty much sums it up... Merry Christmas! 😂😇🙏🎁🐇

And this was after everything I'd already recorded! 😅
More objective evidence that puts the puzzle comfortably & credibly in place! 💡

Summer's Summary: Pause for the Cause

 

Link to Original Article: Pause for the Cause

Part 1: Main Points

[Genuine note of apology for the poor video quality 🤦]

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Basics... Think-Feel-Do... With narratives, conditioned, false and/or limiting beliefs woven in between 💩
• The brain's bias towards action is actually RE-ACTION, insanity 😅
• Examples of fleeting shifts into PRO-ACTION using the PAUSE... Never easy, but always worth it! 💯

Part 2: Reflections on Reflecting

• An effortful pause for the 'cause' (of preserving my sanity), now a much-loved daily reflection practice (through healthy discipline) 🙏
• How rubbish in our brains drive behaviours... seemingly against our will; sensed as 'not ourselves' / out of control feelings 👿
• The power & JOY of self acceptance, how easy it becomes by surrounding ourselves with the right people 💝
• The many forms of PAUSING, the repercussions of failing to create that space (for me/from my perspective)👌

Part 3: What Pausing Looks Like Now

• Coming to understand the current form of impulse control required, and how I use a PAUSE to achieve it (sometimes) 🙊
• Using a PAUSE to understand & prevent forms of unhealthy distress avoidance, reassurance seeking and 'checking' 🙉
• Ethical maturity literally requires building self awareness of inner narratives, bias & assumptions, all of which require a PAUSE to see these blind spots 🙈
• PAUSING is difficult because it requires overriding our natural evolution! Our prefrontal cortex and ability to prevent insanity gets easier with practice, keep at it! 🌈

Fathom 30: Wellness Wealth

 

Part 1: Wise Energy Investment

• How do we spend our most precious human resource, our energy? Focus on the quick wins versus making wise investments into our long-term wellness 🤔
• Our different energies, spices, and how we might recognise them and also spend them differently 💸
• Key Components 🔑
• Impulse control, Pausing, and SLOWING DOWN are essentials 🚦
• The ultimate Marshmallow Test! 🍭
• Forgoing dopamine and/or endorphine hits takes patience and acceptance 🙏
• Just a few of my own vulnerabilities and how I notice ways in which I utterly waste various energies 🐃💩😅

Part 2: God, Grant Me the Serenity to Cut the Shit

• My own awareness adventure started many years ago with the Serenity Prayer, to this day it boils down to self-acceptance 😇💖
• Nuances between leaning into things that will take effort because it will pay off in the long run, and saying F*&$!-it without wasting energy needlessly... Spoiler alert, there are no black & white rules! 💪🤷
• The benefit of allowing my definitions of 'healthy discipline' to shift and suit my current wellness needs... as well as some more 'typical' examples that may resonate with the broader audience 😅😎

Part 3: Overcoming Default Settings

• It's all about adding to our wellness wealth by making wise energy investments and becoming aware of areas we're prone to be a bit wasteful with our energies 🤑
• Being a Human is hard and some of our thoughts & emotions are rubbish! 🦄
• Regret (particularly upon reflection) as an apt wellness wealth energy investment check! ✅
• If & when our default settings leave us broke, unwell in some way, or feeling the 'naughty stick's' epic sting, it's time to build some awareness, and practice making wiser investments 🧘