Fathom 20: Perfectionism Versus Capability

 

 

Fathom 11: Pity Versus Compassion

 

Part 1: F*$! Pity

Part 2: Compassion

Part 3: Big Ass But

Part 4: A Month Later … How I Turned It Around 

Fathom 8: Knowing Versus Believing

 

🤔Main Message🤯

This series explores the subtle but powerful difference between knowing and believing, and how the gap between the two shapes Anxiety, Self-Acceptance, relationships, intuition, Personal Growth, and purpose.

Part 1: Knowing vs Believing - What's the Difference? 

[Recorded 24 November 2024]

0:00 - 2:00 | Why This Topic Matters

• A topic I've wanted to explore for years.
• Realisation that I don't need to convince anyone.
• Curiosity about the distinction between:
• Knowing
• Believing
• They sound similar, but they feel fundamentally different.

2:00 - 4:30 | Beliefs vs Knowings

• Beliefs often originate in the Mind.
• Knowings feel deeper:
• Intuition
• Gut wisdom
• Inner certainty
• Humans crave certainty, but certainty is often an illusion.

4:30 - 7:00 | False Beliefs and Anxiety

• Many beliefs are simply stories we tell ourselves.
• Example:
• Believing I'll regain weight.
• Knowing I won't.
• Anxiety often thrives when beliefs overpower deeper knowing.

7:00 - 9:00 | Learning to Challenge My Own Thoughts

• Recovery began when I learned to question my thoughts; Mindful Anarchy!
• Not every thought deserves trust.
• Limiting beliefs often masquerade as truth.

9:00 - 11:00 | Assumptions About Others

• We constantly create beliefs about people:
• Appearance
• Weight
• Tattoos
• Behaviour
• Most assumptions are based on incomplete information.
• Knowing requires curiosity and conversation.

Key Takeaway

Beliefs are often assumptions. Knowing requires deeper awareness and examination. 

SCARF Model Information

Part 2: Alternate Perspectives

Part 2: Different Perspectives on Knowing and Believing

[Part 2 to 4: Recorded 08 November 2025]

0:00 - 2:30 | Revisiting the Original Vlog

• Reflection one year later.
• Recognition that the original recording was biased.
• Desire to explore a more Balanced perspective. 

2:30 - 5:00 | A Friend's Perspective

• Friend's viewpoint:
• Believing = faith, intuition.
• Knowing = evidence, proof.
• Examples:
• Believing the Earth is round.
• Knowing the moon affects tides.
• Recognition that different people frame these concepts differently. 

5:00 - 7:30 | Why Different Perspectives Matter

• Importance of running ideas through our own Values and reasoning.
• Avoiding blind acceptance of concepts.
• "Sip the Kool-Aid, don't chug it."
• Develop personal meaning rather than adopting others' beliefs wholesale. 

7:30 - 10:30 | Summer's Perspective

• Personal view remains:
• Belief = mental understanding.
• Knowing = intuitive certainty.
• Recognition that intuition sometimes exists without evidence.
• Acceptance that intuition is imperfect but still valuable. 

Key Takeaway

There are many valid ways to define knowing and believing. The important thing is understanding how they operate within our own lives. 

Part 3: Things I Know But Don't Fully Believe

0:00 - 3:00 | False Beliefs and Self-Limiting Narratives

• Humans inherit beliefs through:
• Conditioning
• Experience
• Repetition
• Many become self-limiting.
• Knowings can help challenge fixed narratives. 

3:00 - 7:00 | The Weight and Food Example

• Long History with:
• Obesity
• Anorexia
• Disordered eating
• Persistent belief:
• Eating too much will cause obesity.
• Deep knowing:
• Obesity is no longer the likely future.
• Ongoing effort to rebuild trust between mind and Body.

7:00 - 10:00 | Evidence vs Fear

• Reflection on experiences that challenged old beliefs.
• Examples where feared outcomes never happened.
• Recognition that fear often exaggerates risk. 

10:00 - 13:00 | Marriage and Relationships

• Example of believing vs knowing:
• Belief: Marriage could happen again.
• Knowing: No intuitive certainty that it will.
• Acceptance of uncertainty.
• Openness to possibilities without forcing conclusions. 

Key Takeaway

Growth often happens when deeper knowing begins to challenge long-held beliefs. 

Part 4: When Knowing and Believing Align

0:00 - 3:00 | What Happens When Both Are Absent?

• Reflection on concepts that are neither known nor believed.
• Discussion of good, evil, morality, and human Judgment.
• Recognition that reality is often more complex than simple labels. 

3:00 - 6:00 | The Power of Alignment

• Exploration of what happens when:
• The mind believes.
• The intuition knows.
• When both align:
• Confidence increases.
• Clarity increases.
• Action becomes easier. 

6:00 - 8:30 | Manifestation Reframed

• Personal interpretation of manifestation.
• Brain creates the "what."
• Intuition trusts the "how."
• Alignment between Intention and trust creates momentum.

8:30 - 11:00 | The Velvet Sledgehammer Insight

• Insight during a spin class.
• Realisation:
• Part of my purpose is challenging people.
• Helping others expand self-awareness.
• Acceptance of the role of Coach, facilitator, and catalyst for growth. 

11:00 - 13:00 | Knowing and Believing Our Purpose

• Recognition that coaching and facilitation create flow state.
• Understanding that this work aligns:
• Purpose
• Values
• Service
• Strengths
• A rare example where both knowing and believing completely align.

Key Takeaway

When what we believe and what we know finally align, self-acceptance becomes much easier. 

Fathom 2: Control Versus Influence

Consideration of Impacts, Not for the Faint of Heart 💞🙏

• Common Coaching conversation fodder.... One's relationship with Control, and the need for certainty to feel Safe 🛟
• Correlation between Self-Awareness, honest Observation & effective Leadership; it's hard-earned, yet Healing! 🙏
• The harsh truth about control, boy do we ever spend our previous Energy trying! 😅
• Gold Standard... Influencing without Intimidation and/or Manipulation 😎🤩
• Intentions and Choices will have consequences, will they be worth it long-term? 🤔

Perception Versus Reality

I’m fully aware that my constant pursuit of a deeper knowing and expansion of my human consciousness has made me, and will continue to make me, ‘different’ in the eyes of others. Sure, 'normal' is a on a spectrum, but I think we can all agree I've flown well past the extreme end of f*$@ing out-there; the 'reality' of my personal purpose and how I achieve it will be 'perceived' by others to varying degrees of that extremity. 😝💖😵

I’m constantly curious, but about my own thoughts and feelings and those of everyone around me. Do I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Panic Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) and or an Eating Disorder (ED)? F*$# knows… Am I human? Yes, yes I am (whether I bloody like it or not, at times 😅). Does my mind play tricks on me, feed me a narrative that is out of touch with the realities of other people’s perception of me? Almost certainly… Am I the fun kind of crazy or actually crazy? Jury's still out… It depends on the day, the circumstances, the context surrounding the situation, the people involved and how well they 'know' me, or even how well they want to know me. It’s all just a swirling mass of subconscious biases and conditioned thoughts, feelings and behaviours, faulted memories of previous experiences and personal motivational drivers. These compose my reality, and the behaviours they motivate inform people’s perception of me which may or may not align with my own perception of Self. What a RABBIT HOLE! 🕳🐇

I’ve done a hell of a lot of re-wiring, led myself through a deconstruction of who I was conditioned to be through familial upbringing and societal conventions to discover who I truly am... it got scary, I can't lie. It tested the boundaries of my sanity, literally. But F*$@, what did I have to lose? According to many others I was already 'mentally ill.'  Ironically however, the more I embraced all the diagnoses I'd accumulated and vowed "Dammit, I'll love myself for this too!" the less these misjudged 'illnesses' have dominated my life. I've learned to accept this innate wiring of my brain chemistry, that I can’t necessarily shift, with as much grace and as little self-punishment as possible. Letting go of the concept of imperfection has been a long slow slog for me. But what else can I do? 👉💩🗻😂

When I observe thoughts, emotions and reactions that don’t serve me or others within my sphere of influence, well, I do my best to practice new thoughts and ways of behaving. I endeavour to become aware of these old narratives and assumptions, challenge them in real-time and try to prove them wrong in hopes of either re-writing the script or validating them… both are critical data needed to understand the reality of the situation. Why do I do this so vehemently? To put it bluntly… to stop being such a judgmental dick to myself and others, to become more compassionate, empathetic, open-minded and authentically kind. To allow people the honour of feeling safe to be themselves around me, but also let them know if/when they’ve crossed one of my trigger points because healthy boundaries keep us all safe, as well as cultivating and preserving a sense of genuine self esteem.

What we tell ourselves, how we behave towards ourselves, is how we’ll talk to and treat others; whether we’re conscious of that or not is a completely different story. I give others the advice and feedback that I strive to follow my magnificently-fallible Self. None among us is exempt from such human follies, which are a consequence of our threat-based survivalist lizard-brain. We’re on constant guard, surveying our lives and the lives of others looking for issues and dangers that might make us uncomfortable or disempower us. Unfortunately, treating ourselves and others as ‘problems to be solved’ doesn’t leave much room for kindness, open-mindedness and/or non-judgment. 👎👀

I spend a hell of a lot of brain energy on this stuff, if for no other reason than to distract those threat-based circuits and get them firing towards something more empowering; remaining GRATEFUL for my life, in all its shit-showing glory, and seeing solutions/opportunities instead of issues/problems. There is no failure, no mistakes... only things to learn from, taking it on the chin if/when necessary since we're often the cause of our own demise. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I started pulling the string of self development when I finally grew tired of my own bullshit, and the fact that I was constantly getting in my own way, undermining my own sense of worth. 😅🤷🤦

When I achieve periods of sustainable mental health, wellbeing and emotional intelligence, than role-model that to others, I’m hoping like hell it becomes as infectious as COVID-19. I’m learning to serve this World and everyone on it using pure intentions of good will, genuine smiley emotionally contagious mirror neurons, and displays of Trust in the Universe. Thereby re-affirming the soothing sentiment that 'everything happens for a reason'... as frustrating as that may be at times. My rallying cry has become "Back Yourself Bitch!" and I encourage others to invoke the same; and if they can't, I'll shout it at them until they listen. 😝🔊😍💥

Does that sound nuts? Probably... but f*%# it, I started this mad adventure thirteen years ago by listening to The Power of Now and whatever Dr. Wayne Dyer had to say and write. I transitioned from medicated and hospitalised to the weird and wonderful WHOLE being (yet delightful hot-mess) that I am now. I’ll continue to evolve by constantly poking my brain with the sharp pointy sticks that are ‘The Why's,’ remain curious and humble in my utter ignorance of the realities of others and appreciative of my privileged situation. I can spend my energy on these reflections instead of worrying about when the next literal bomb will drop, how to put food on the table for my family, get down the street without being assaulted, or having to find a job and a place to live. My core life principle has been to LEARN WITH A GRATEFUL HEART, because the older I get the more naïve I realise I am about the day-to-day realities of other humans. I cannot 'fix' anything about them, nor would I rob them of the power of realising everything we need is already inside them. All I can do is be a safe place of non-judgment and respite from life's many hardships. Suddenly, my BULLSHIT and drama becomes laughably insignificant.

Alas, survival/threat-based hard-wiring is so difficult to overcome! Developing that frontal lobe, and probably other areas of the brain, is not an easy process and certainly not for the faint of heart nor those with ‘precious’ / easily offended tiny-human egos. Please, can we all agree to start laughing and rejoicing in our absurdities?! Anyone?... Buller?... 😉😂 This is a necessary aspect of admitting to ourselves that we’re simply overflowing with false beliefs, assumptions, biases, greedy agendas, and blame… and goodness knows we all hate being f*%#ing wrong. Confronting ourselves in the proverbial 'mirror,' doing a gap analysis being perception and reality, is ugly and terrifying (whether it's our own or those of others); but damn is it worth it to become a healthy, balanced, human being that treats everyone with the respect we all deserve.

We simply can't fathom what people have gone through, or what they're currently going through. Life isn’t kind to anyone on this Earth. We perceive some people as a threat, others as friends, and mostly we fail to consider them at all… yet we’re all human and here together. Living this life inside our minds taking our abysmal best guess at what lies in the minds others; we can learn so much from each other if/when we can quiet our internal dialogue long enough to: 

• Observe without judgment 
• Listen to understand
• Become genuinely curious about their intentions, without making assumptions

I’ll never forget Mr. Eckhart Tolle insisting that if I wanted to live in 'The Now,' be present, less anxious, and start to dis-entangle the chaos in my head and subsequently my life, then I’d need to learn to be ‘The Watcher.’ Methodically and persistently practice non-judgmentally observing my own thoughts, behaviours and actions, and their impact on myself and others. Thirteen years, and I’ve ONLY JUST started to lay that judgment to rest and be nicer to myself for being a silly human… not having all the answers, snapping at someone for crossing a boundary, being an asshole, talking too much at too loud a decibel with too much profanity 🙊; for blasting people with my overwhelming 'passion' and errant opinions stated with the confidence of fact 😅. I now acknowledge that I try my best at each and every opportunity to consider my impact on others so that I can modify my behaviour in the moment, thus helping others feel valued and supported.

Thirteen years it took me to stop asking “What about me?! Why can’t/aren’t others doing the same for me?! Why do I need to ‘be the bigger person’?!,” and using them as excuses to let my own shitty behaviour persist. I’ve finally lost my appetite for blame and reciprocity because what I understand is that people don’t treat me with kindness and equity because they don’t treat themselves that way, nor do they know how to stop being who they’ve always been or have been conditioned to be. They are a victim of their own wiring, just how I was until I couldn’t bear it anymore and my circuits literally broke. They don’t need my judgment, and they don’t deserve it either. All I can do is role-model the pro-social behaviours I’d want everyone to display, this is how we learn empathy, from observing and perceiving one another… our pain and struggles, and comparing them to our own realities. I will be that person, at no cost and with no expectation of generosity in return. I will show anyone I’m fortunate enough to meet what it is to be open, unassuming, accepting and whole, neither toxically positive nor habitually pessimistic, just BALANCED and willing to listen to their reality so that I can adjust my perception with fairness and compassion. I could never have accomplished this adaptation until I did the hard yards of exhausted self reflection, of facing the shadow in the mirror until I fell in love with her.

How do I know it worked? That I've healed? Learned to take care of myself and my unique needs? Well, if anyone had met me fourteen years ago, I would've projectile-vomited my pain, shame and victim stories all over them. There wouldn't have been any doubt in their mind that I had all sorts of mental issues, I wore them on my sleeve as a justification for how I lived; from one crisis to the next. No gaps between my unhinged reality and their perception of my mania. Now, while others certainly detect some eccentricities about me, people would never guess I'm internally carrying around half the DSM-5 . Ok, maybe that's naive... it's fairly obvious that I work at the warp-chaotic speed easily associated with ADHD. The people with a healthy sense of whimsy are free to join in the weird and wonderful fun. 💨💓😅

Original Publication Date 23/06/2024

Making No Choice Vs. Choosing To Do Nothing

More and more I find that one of the greatest potentials we hold is our Power of CHOICE. I wrote this entire article before realising what led me to appreciate the subtle difference between making no choice and choosing to do nothing was something I once hated about myself, causing me infinite torment... my addiction to control. To my shock, delight and relief, I find that unhealthy obsession also instigated my healing adventure when I grew increasingly intolerant of my constant attempts to control things I had no actual influence over. As I consistently addressed my own inner bullshit, I began to transition from controlling the mundane-trivial components of life (which produced no meaningful improvements, only chronic anxiety and different forms of more shit 💩🤦), to taking REAL control over my life. Indeed, most things are not within our immediate or direct control. What we’ll always be able to control however, is how we choose to conduct ourselves and the attitude with which we approach our lives. 🐇

Before I entirely give away where I'm headed let's discuss a fun fact... damn are we decision-making machines! The daily (hell, second-ly) decisions we make both consciously and subconsciously weave the fabric of our realities. So many decisions...where we direct our thoughts, how we express our emotions, and of course, our actions and/or reactions; the latter being the predominant form unfortunately, since we often condition ourselves to do the same things over and over again. Even in the face of mounting evidence that our tactics aren't always overly helpful or successful (i.e., my 25 year habit of frivolous control). 😅 

Other images come to mind of parents yelling at kids to tidy their rooms, or partners barking about the dishes in the sink, or pet owners frustratingly asserting that their furr-baby has been a very bad boy/girl! Obviously this mode of communicative reprimand doesn’t work for any species, otherwise the stimuli would cease to exist, the issues resolved. The undesired behaviours persist, yet we choose the same methods time and again Knowing they won't produce the results we seek. 🤔❔

If we’re to break these re-action cycles, first we need to become aware of why we typically think, feel and act in those ways, listen to the stories we're telling ourselves subconsciously then consciously challenge and override them. We'll also need to recognise which repetitive choices have not served us well in the past, so we can be 'on the look out.' 👀👆 Even small changes in our habitual decisions lead to significant life alterations over time, and it allows us to guide ourselves into a more enjoyable human experience, one in which we can feel proud of ourselves and our choices instead of pissed off and disappointed, or worse still... hopeless and helpless. Expanding our awareness of what sits underneath our choices creates the shades of grey between our otherwise black and white decision-making (Yes/No, Go/No Go, etc.). It’s within these shady areas we’ll now explore the subtle nuances between making no choice and choosing to do nothing. 🐇🐇🐇

Making No Choice
I can think of two main reasons why someone would make no choice at all, but I’m hopeful others will think of many of their own (if so, let me know! 🙏).

1. Utter chaos and conflict between two or more of our three ‘brains’/intelligence centres. It would be folly to argue against the hypothesis that healthy choices are balanced choices. The Head analysing possible outcomes and accounting for risks, the Heart directing our intentions and desires, and the instinctual Gut pushing us away from 'danger' while pulling us towards 'safety.' Personally for a bit of whimsy I include considerations for the Spirit-based, fire-driven, passions as well, but I prefer to leave the source and meaning of these sacred for each individual.
2. An ‘It’ll be fine’ attitude, or what I also like to think of as 'Ostrich Syndrome,' wherein we stick our heads in the ground and pretend that the shit around us isn’t happening. Call it naivete or denial, either way in that position our behinds are magnificantly exposed and life eventually kicks our ass hard enough to force us out of those states. Amazingly, some of us continue to dig still-deeper, then act surprised when another swift kick inevitably comes back around... Sheer. F&*$ing. Insanity.

To the first point, one tangible example is feeling miserable and/or dispassionate about our work/job/career, experiencing one of more of the following: Feeling intellectually under-stimulated and/or unable to express our creativity (Head), displeasure in our work relationships with managers and/or colleagues (Heart), or generally sensing that its unsafe to our true selves in that environment and unable to thrive (Gut). Nevertheless, we stay for conventional reasons, all of which weave a tangled web of conflict between our 'brains'... Financial risk,  sense of achievement it gives us (ironically even if/when we don't really like the nature of the work), inconvienence of starting over,  uncertainty about what we actually want to do, lack of confidence in ability, feeling needed by boss/peers/reports/clients, etc., time investment to-date (including education), thinking it's 'normal' to dislike work... and all the other excuses we tell ourselves. We’re stuck. 'Stuck-ness' moves into feeling trapped, powerless. Things keep ticking along day in and day out, fluctuating between tolerable and tiresome, but our confusion and reasons for staying prevent us from deciding to change the situation.

Here’s another classic, relationships. Whether it's a friend, family member or romatic partner, we often find ourselves in precarious relationship situations. Things may not be great but they're not bad either. There may be signs and urges to seek other opportunities or cut ties and detach, yet we stay either out of a fear of loneliness, hesitancy to re-enter the dating game, thinking we're not good enough for someone with the attributes we really want, and/or inability to overcome the compelling Sunk Cost logical fallacy. Particularly with family, a hefty sense of obligation holds us in place, putting up with toxic situations because that's what's expected.

Our hearts long to be needed and wanted, valued, while our heads are starved for deep and meaningful conversations or a witty laugh. Our gut cautions against various and subtle forms of abuse (including self-infliction!), while our Spirit's inner flame flickers without the fiery passion or deeper connection that continually fuels the 'give and take' energy required for all relationships. But there we are, making no choice to leave... waiting for the next moment of reprieve or promise that things will change to get us through. 

Right, who's well and truly depressed at this point?! Yes, me too, and there's a reason! Because this shit is BLEAK!, and because each and every one of us knows exactly what this feels like. The paralysis created when we can't sort out what we want to do or what we should do is indeed a wretched place. It's a place we can survive, at best... but not forever. Fate is a real thing, and it kicks our ass into gear when we fail to act on the signs that something needs to shift. I'm so thankful, because this is exactly what drove me to work towards aligning my head, heart and gut for the sake of my overall wellbeing.

To the second point, I've often found myself more than a little miffed with the common Kiwi adage 'She'll be right mate!', an assumption that everything will work out without any intervention. Admittedly, this perspective has successfully converted my control-freak stressed-out tendency to a much more relaxed attribute, as I learn to trust the people and society around me as well as believe in my resilience and ability to overcome adversity. I'm no longer completely ashamed to say this literally took years of practice, and trial and error. 😅🧪

Yes, sometimes it's better to trust in help from others or give the situation time to become clearer, get more data, and allow things beyond our control to sort themselves out. Those things within our control (attitude, decisions, intentions, etc.), however, deserve conscious consideration at the very least; at that pivotal point we can make the choice to do nothing.

To clarify this boundary, I recall one of my favourite fables:

There once was a God-fearing man who refused to leave his home despite rapidly rising flood waters. As the rain pissed down and the wall of water climbed higher, he got out onto his roof clinging to his belief that God alone would save him.

His neighbor came by in a boat, urging him to come aboard, but he refused asserting that 'God will save me.' Unable to convince him otherwise, the neighbor rowed away to safety. 

The water grew still higher and swifter, then a helicopter came to pluck the man off the roof and deliver him to shelter. But the man waved it away, staunchly proclaiming that 'God will deliver me from this crisis' and that he intended to wait and hold that faith. 

Finally, the flood water overtook the roof from underneath the man and he met his damp demise. In front of the pearly gates of Heaven, he asked God why he had failed to save him, to which God replied "I sent a f*#%ing boat AND a helicopter, what else could I have done?!"

Choosing To Do Nothing
Now it's time to explore the counterpoint of choosing to do nothing, and its as simple as it reads, no magic surprises... "But that's still point #2!", some might argue... Ah, indeed, but only to the untrained eye. It's the conscious choice to do nothing, intentionally. To let the cards play out exactly how they were dealt, in full awareness that there are risks to taking no action at all. If the bloke in the fable had made the choice to do nothing, consciously, he sure as shit wouldn't have been surprised to find himself at those pearly gates; he'd have anticipated that was one of the risks of his fateful choice, and he would've owned that decision instead of blaming God for not saving his sorry ass. 😉♱

The line between these distinctions is indeed a fuzzy one; one that's nearly impossible to determine until we've gained both experiential wisdom and inner awareness through feedback (like when life gives us 🎁 or 🍋 or 💩) and purposeful reflection. Basically, it's elucidating the epic grey areas along the spectrum between the black and white binary extremes of our World. Anyway, to help wrap our brains around this concept, let's explore some reasons we might choose to do nothing (These are not real examples, they are my attempt to create general and relatable situations):

• I have a job... No, I don't love it and it's not what I ultimately want to do, but it only makes me want to jump off a bridge sometimes and it allows me to save enough money to one day branch out and do what I really want to do. I choose to stay, until such time as I'm ready to start said new venture. Most importantly, I remain grateful for the job, even when someone sends me an email that makes me want to put my fist through my computer, because I OWN the fact that I CHOOSE to stay, to do nothing at present. I fully understand that I could leave, forsake the money and security, as terrifying as that is... as unsensible and impractical as it seems... I am, nonetheless, capable of resignation. I am not trapped, not powerless, and I trust in my ability to provide for myself and my family without it. I could miraculously land on my feet, but for now I won't do a damn thing.
• I have a friend who drives me absolutely f*#!ing nuts at times, and whom I sometimes regret hanging out with all-together. They're prone to complaining about everything and anything under the Sun and it completely drains me. Despite every attempt I make to role-model cheerfulness, they seem to love bitching about their kids, job, spouse, people at the grocery store who move too slowly, or how their favourite contestant was voted off the island and how unfair it was... I've thought about cutting them out of my life, but we've been friends for so long. I don't need to explain what I've been through with them, they were there, they know. Besides, isn't part of being a good friend accepting each other for who we are? Maintaining compassion, creating a safe space where we can have a bit of a pity party without adverse judgment? 🥳 Perhaps it would even serve me well to consider the shit I do that ruffles their feathers as well, or why their dreariness bugs me so much, as appalling as that sounds. So I'll do nothing, because I'd rather keep them in my life than lose them for reasons I'm not entirely convinced are just.

The common themes here are that we're willing to do nothing, take no observable action. Wait, slow down, take a risk, consider what lies hidden underneath, put up with a bit of strife to get more data until we get either a logical or intuitive cue to act, ensuring the decision involved is healthy, heartfelt and whole.

There is also an odd sort of liberation in 'letting go and letting God.' And, if the concept of giving that control over to the Universe is too uncomfortable since it's decidedly Spiritual in nature, think of it simply as the conscious decision to not intervene and just see what happens. An experiment! Not with the naivete that accompanies the 'Ostrich Syndrome,' having failed to consider the reprocussions of making no choice and leaving our asses very much exposed for a rightous-kicking, but with a twinkle of playful curiousity. ✨🧚

Ironically, whether we make no choice or choose to do nothing, both can be transformative when embraced as learning opportunities if/when shit blows up in our face and we abstain from the allure of blame. This realisation struck me hard at some point during my evolution, and it led to the creation of my #1 Life Principle: "I Learn With a Grafetful Heart." Despite the plot twists life throws my way, no matter the pain I endure, instead of feeling like a victim of luck; I remain open to the lessons life holds. Should we be so fortunate as to wrap our tiny human brains and egos around this concept and embody it, we effectively detach ourselves from the outcome of our choices and decisions like those funky Buddhists are always going on about... Freeing, but also unbelievably difficult without a hell of a lot of practice, for me in the form of trust-falls!

Original Publication Date 05 June 2023