- Who I am based on how I act
- Who I am based on who I think I am
- Who I am based on how others perceive me
- Who I am based on my aspirational potential
All different, yet all true (whether I like it or not). ðð
ðģð
Typical morning, rowing away to my heart's content, when a song comes on Spotify that I don't quite care for so I attempt to issue a 'Next Song' command to Siri (whom I lovingly refer to as 'Senior Navigator'). Though my nondescript masculine Aussie-voiced Siri usually responds efficiently to a ‘Hey Siri’ prompt, eagerly awaiting to answer my will, on this particular occasion Sr. Navigator must have misunderstood me. Instead of skipping to the next song as anticipated, it proceeded to ask if I wanted to call someone in my contacts and I got immediately flustered, afraid it would ring the person while I was breathlessly pulling my way to 10km at an hour that only exists to bats and die-hard gym fanatics. In my haste, the prickle-pants came on and I exclaimed, loudly and articulately so Sr. Navigator would be sure to hear me properly... "No Sr. Navigator! Naughty!" ððð
I wasn't in a pissy mood and hadn't woken up on the wrong side of the bed, nevertheless this AI driven assistant failing to understand my instruction was enough to trigger me. Why? Pick an issue, any issue... Lack of perceived respect, failure to control the situation as I wanted to, fear of calling some rando contact at 4:00am by mistake, disappointment, need for instant gratification, to feel powerful... Nevermind that I'm talking about my response to a f*&#ing robot on my phone! This is how easily humans create our own chaos... misperceiving threats left, right and center, reacting in various preposterous and emotionally unintelligent ways for all the world to see and justifiably laugh at, which we also view as a threat. Thus the vicious cycle persists until we learn to STOP and objectively observe ourselves. ðĩðĪ·
Do I think of myself as a defensive person? No... but did I react defensively? Yes, yes I did. And this, my fine fluffles, is what continually reminds me to ABSTAIN FROM JUDGING OTHERS. Humans are hardwired to react. Whether the danger, hazard or risk is factual or fabricated makes absolutely no difference. No one is exempt, I write about this shit CONSTANTLY and it's gloriously embarrassing to witness myself behaving this way; but shit, I'm only human. I can't know what those around me thought about my belligerent outburst but whatever it was, from the damning 'What a nutter!' to the empathetic 'Been there!,' and anything else along that spectrum, is fair.
The whimsical point of this situation is that Sr. Navigator was only trying to help! Someone unwilling to own this level of self-awareness and humbling honesty would likely just blame their phone for their odd behaviour... and that may be innocuous in this circumstance... yet I can't help but contemplate the weightier implications of such a mindset in other situations. Situations where accountability is vital for healthy internal and external relationships, and sense of Self. ðĪððģ
When do you most need to pause, reflect, and consider outside perspectives before reacting?
Have you ever practiced non-judgmentally observing your behaviours, and assessing whether they are serving your life in beneficial ways?
Are there gaps between who you think you are, who others think you are, and how you want to be?
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