Episode 34: Shame-Based Spice Assessment

 

Part 1: Shame Versus Guilt

• Tripped over a rabbit hole listening to a recent episode of the Ologies Podcast 🐇🕳
• Driving reflections on my grapples with & pursuit towards Self-Acceptance 💩
• I love a hot-f*ing-mess!... but apparently don't accept it quite as easily 😇
• The subtle nuance between guilt & shame 🤔

Part 2: Nature Versus Nurture

• Why I don't experience guilt... 1) Make a decision, 2) Detach from the outcome... 👍
• Why self exploration is fun! 😅
• The 'nature' of my shame (DNA-level)... I'm neuro-spicy! 💥

• The 'nurture' of my shame (Experiential Self Blame)... Good ol' fashioned trauma response! 💣

Part 3: Adjusting the Spice Levels

• The subjective and objective indications that I'm decidedly 'not normal' 😎
• What I'm learning to appreciate is my ability to adjust my spice levels and hone my powers for good, which helps me accept myself and shift away from the shame 💖

My Spice Levels : How I feel & How I Act 😅🧨

Episode 33: The Mirror Test

Part 1: An Interesting Observation

• The 'Oh Shit' moment of observing old dysfunctional behaviours in someone else, and discerning the best course of action 😯
• Being the 'bigger person' but also being honest & showing compassion for both of us, past and present 🙏
• Acknowledgement of the WORK I've done, and which I rarely give myself credit for... but not expecting that from others 👏

Part 2: Disappointing Diagnosis

• "You're perfectly healthy, just anxious"... i.e. The only thing wrong with me, is that I think there's something wrong with me, a fun throwback to the Episode that landed me the last allocated label 😅🤔
• This Doc unknowingly validated my recent Experimental results as well as the aforementioned Mirror Test observations; another opportunity to celebrate my self discovery adventure, recognising that my routines, while highly disciplined, are my expression of authentic self-care 🥳💪🐇

Episode 32: Compassionate Experimentation

Part 1: Experimental Kindness & Criticism

• As foreshadowed in Part 3 of Self-Love Vs. Self-Acceptance Summer's Summary, I leant into my natural inclinations as a scientist to play with emotional concepts 😅😶
• Probing positive beliefs about self criticism and negatives beliefs about self compassion with sharp pointy sticks 👈 
• [And I'll be damned if I didn't forget about analysing these beliefs before, after avowing my Greatest Accomplishment, and committing to Mindful Anarchy against them! 🤦]
• Authentic confusion about what's 'most kind' and getting primal to gain some clarity; bringing it back to the SCARF Model & comparing myself to my pet goat 🧣🐐
• The truly subtle difference is self-kindness versus self-care... versus self-indulgence & self-sabotage; What the hell is actual Self Care?! 💖💩

Part 2: The More You Know

• Justice; when life gives you lemons... be a dick to yourself and others? 🍋🖕
• Spite-ful or Grate-ful, a reminder of resentment's poisonous nature 🧪😡
• A disciplined epiphany, the mind-numbing impacts of confirmation bias & the power of INTENTION💡💥
• Being hard on myself about not being able to be hard on myself... the sign of a true existentialist 😅

Part 3: In Conclusion

• The dark side of acceptance? 🤔
• It's all about BALANCE and respecting each other's differences and unique pivot points
• To live my authentic Values, in a truly compassionate way, requires self-responsibility & accountability, but it's not a license for punishment... 
• My two critical check points, implemented courtesy of this compassionate experimentation 💖
• What is my Intention? [Am I expecting too much? Am I aligned to my preferred definition of Compassion?]
• Am I accepting my true & genuine Self? [Sans 'shoulds'/'coulds'/shame/judgments]

Summer's Summary: Self-Love Vs. Self-Acceptance

Link to Original: Self-Love Vs. Self-Acceptance (Published 26 November 2020)

Part 1: Main Points & Reflections

• I seem to easily forget shit I once learned. 😅
• Self acceptance as a choice?🤷‍♀️
• Supposed subconscious rejection of kindness & finding gratitude in life's rough waters. 🌊.

Part 2: Mindful Anarchy, Take Two

• I deserve kindness, not hot-mess-ness. Respectful & mindful disagreement with old, habitual and unhelpful beliefs, & a budding resistance to 'shoulding' myself. 🖕🙏
• Opting for a more WHOLE-istic approach & ditching the Blame Game. 👈💖

Part 3: What Does This Look Like Now? 

• Timely article to revisit current struggles and the concept of self-love, aka compassion. Leaning into self-help resources, and here's a great one! 🥳 
• A compassion definition that resonates, very understandable compassion barriers, and a fun & compassionate experimentation! 🤓
• Ironically, I discovered one way to appreciate and accept my brain on a deeper level was to break it and make it bleed. 💥🧠