20MRH: One Part Blame Shifting, Two Parts Food Guilt

 

Talking Points:

• Catching myself blame shifting via a yummy gift
• What of Emotional Intelligence?
• Stopping to ask: Whose issue is it really?
• Anger from boundary treading versus hearing an ugly truth
• Blaming is easier then confronting a trait we'd rather not have
• Controlling too much or too little? It's all about perception!
• Healthy control vs addiction, facing an ugly truth
• It comes down to balance and establishing healthy boundaries
• Guilt, yet another clue
• Balance is simple! Let the body show us how... It's so simple... And glaringly ironic
• Going down the Rabbit Hole isn't easy, but it's worth it!

20MRH: News Flash!

Talking Points:

• News Flash!... A piece of the conditioning that informs the Stories that we tell ourselves
• How often do are we fed media that portrays positivity?
• Our addiction to drama and adversity, and how this impacts our own stories/what we tell ourselves
• Why I 'assume the worst' and the true source of my inner stress
• Feeding ourselves positivity requires us to seek it out, there is power in choosing what we feed our fragile psyches
• The viscous cycle... to be news worthy, we need to create our own drama
• Break the cycle... practice compassion
• Expecting others to be perfect, through our own eyes and not theirs, is unjust

20MRH: Miscommunication 101

Talking Points

• The nature of miscommunication, with ourselves and others
• One game, completely difference vantage points
• It's not intended, unless you're a selfish liar
• Communication as a system based on expectation and clarifications; but how do we know what to clarify?
• The FUF, and how it impacts our ability to communication and understand each other
• An example of the impact our background stories can have on what we hear
• Compassion for other peoples' FUF, and displaying empathy as a means of improving communication

20MRH: Story-Telling

Talking Points

• The Starless Sea re-inspired me to talk about the stories we tell ourselves
• The Think-Feel-Do cycle, and where the stories fit in and how they amplify our emotions
• To shift our behaviours we must first hear and understand these stories
• The conscious and subconscious origins of our stories (limiting beliefs, conditions, values, etc.)
• My own example; anxiety, panic and self-fulfilling prophecies
• The story of what we remember versus what actually happened, with the humility of honest hindsight ... it's own rabbit hole 🐇
• It's hard, especially when they re-play like broken records
• Once we're aware of our stories, we can own and choose the stories, create new ones
• Changing our stories will change our lives; but it takes courage, creativity and a willingness to listen
• We can't always control thoughts, but we can always control the stories
• Interesting aside, listen to the way a close friend tells our stories

Other Storytelling Podcasts

• Miscommunication 101
• News Flash!
• Days of Our Lives
• Playing In The Snake Pit

CBT Resource

20MRH: The Power of Perspective

 

Simply put, Perspective matters, and we can look at a situation one particular way for a long time then suddenly 'unlock' a new vantage point (in this case, to my own benefit). 😊

Some pictures to assist in what I saw:

1) The damn strap wouldn't tighten! The buckle was too far to the right and I could see how to move it. Things stayed this way for months, and since it made rowing uncomfortable and frustrating, I avoided rowing.

2) Holy shit, I can shift the ENTIRE strap to the left (not the buckle itself). Duh!

3) Now my foot fits nice and snug and I can row-away to my hearts' content. If the buckle moves back to the right, I effortlessly move it to where I need it to be. Yay!

20MRH: Goals, Intervals & Feels

Talking Points

• A practical approach to comprehending Self-Love and Self-Acceptance 
• The nature of goal-setting; pros and cons
• Concept of intervals as small smart achievable goals
• The goal deterrent: Fear of failure
• The importance of entering Permission-Mode
• Learning our boundaries when shit falls over, setting needless goals
• Don't hate, mitigate; make a new plan/goal!
• There is no failure, only feedback (even when it's unwanted)
• Lastly, but not leastly, the importance of Self-Care

20MRH: Corona-cation and Lessons in Panic-Buying

Talking Points:

• Setting the Scene: Troubled times, going to alert Level 3 and the impending Corona-cation
• Realising what I've linked to my sense of survival via adventurous panic-buying/eating (~5mins)

• Being grateful for isolation company (~10mins, FYI I got permission to use my husband's name 👍)
• Pack it up and go the f*$! home! But... my laptop died 😱(~12mins)

• Learning through the freak out embracing change, because if we don't life is gonna kick us in the nuts 💥 (~16mins)
• Our human lizard brain and embarrassing examples of my own irrational thinking (~20mins, apologies for the wind background noise )

An example of what drives my irrational fear of both weight-gain and emaciation

• Be kind! Embrace our own and each others unique irrational fears, and how we cope to ease those fears (~23mins)
• Taking care of each other by remembering to go easy on ourselves when we're panicking, most people aren't even aware of their irrational fear-based survivalist thinking (~25mins)

Related Articles

• Puff, Puff Pass - My personal history with panic attacks
• The Snake Pit - Learning via emotional awareness
• Pause for the Cause - The inter-relatedness of our thoughts, emotions and actions

20MRH: Glorious Weirdos

Talking Points:

• Contemplating how 'weird' and 'complicated' differ in a societal context
• What the f*$! is normal?! 
• Accepting the 'weird'
• Examples of being 'weird'
• Exploring complicated personalities
• Analysis versus appreciation
• The crux of fitting in and finding our tribe
• Connecting through relatability
• Bonus: Fun activity to discover our inner weirdness!

Here's a fun fact: The person who inspired this podcast, I married him.  

Related Articles: Costly Conditioning, Just the Tip (Link to Come)

20MRH: Seeing is Believing *With Guided Meditation!*

- The power of visualisation, either in meditation or just random shit that comes to mind, that isn't actually random at all

- Moving from current state to desired state, an anxious mindset for example
- Learning to stop struggling!
(PS It's a 'funny' story because I accidentally hypnotised myself and stayed completely zoned out for two days! This is why it's important to meditate for only a few minutes until we're used to it.)

- Our real limitations are our false beliefs

"Already Gone" by The Eagles

- Visualisations help us uncover subconscious shit, we can then choose how we think and behave
- Meeting my Shadow in my happy place and how shadow-casting (aka projection) works
- Making choices and creating our realities

"We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship

- The silver lining of getting 'skinned'

- People as stepping stones in our lives, how long we linger, what happens when we don't heed to prompt to move (This is person helped me achieve the healing moment in My Day in the Sun, but that's all it was meant to be....)
- Mental meandering about how my mindsets have shifted.... and what progress looks like for me

Related Podcasts: Visualisation Meditation, Learning to Fly, Compassion, My Day in the Sun
Related Articles: Relational Tetris, Pause for the Cause
Related Resources: Dark Side of the Light Chasers, 4 Scientific Reasons Why Visualizations Will Increase Your Chances to Succeed

20MRH: Courage, The Highest Expression of the Gut

Talking Points:

• What is courage?
• Egoic Courage is Bravery!
• My addiction fear…. Why? So I can be brave!
• Next level, courage to follow the gut
• Push or Pull?
• Intuition is not just for hippies and mystics
• Harness the inner earthworm!?
• What if I’m wrong??? Let the Magic 8 Ball decide!
• What would we do if we were free of fear?
• Internal conflict, our different centres have different agendas
• Fun real life examples
• It’s ok to make a decision and ride it out, if it ‘blows up’ let it! We learn either way
• A right or wrong decision is a false belief, because ‘everything happens for a reason’
• Stop thinking and feel!

Future Related Articles: Inimical Identities, Learning to Fly: Shifting Mindsets
Related Podcasts: Creativity, The Highest Expression of the Brain; Compassion, The Highest Expression of the Heart
Referenced Materials: mBraining

20MRH: Playing in the Pit

Talking Points:

• The emotional struggle is real
• We don't hate people, we hate the way they make us feel
• Teasing this shit apart; aka unwinding the snakes
• A recurrent memory of a man I once loved; and what it's taught me in hindsight
• Rebuilding stronger, getting wiser
• Unwiring what's been hard-wired
• The issue with pretending "It's alright, there's nothing wrong"

Related Articles: The Snake Pit, The Nut-Doctor is in!

Related Podcasts: Adjusting the Volume

20MRH: More Nothing Than Something

Talking Points

• A background in quantum physics and atomic orbitals
• Background to me, and why this spoke so loudly to me
• The arbitrary numbers that dictate our sense of worth
• Take the test!
• Can't hear it? Turn up the volume!
• Changing the scales, a cultural lesson in values
• F*#$-ING water weight
• New Concept! Focus on the NOTHING
• We wake up a different person everyday
• Finding true value in Nothing and our creative potential

Simple Model of Carbon

Actual Carbon Atom According to Quantum Physics

Take Home Message: 

We assign the 'something' a value and deeply engrain into it our sense of worth, when it's only 6% of who we are; truly, our potential lies within our 'nothing' which cannot be defined.

Referenced Book: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Related Articles: Waking Up to Worth, E = mc^2, What it Looks Like

Related Podcasts: Creativity, the Highest Expression of the Brain, Adjusting the Volume Dial

20MRH: Adjusting the Volume Dial

Talking Points

• Inserting the Pause, looking at our defaults
• To change or not to change, that is the question
• Hearing without listening; the loud thoughts
• Emotional mindsets and hostility
• Reset! 
• What of the tiny voices?
• Beware the repeater; 'Why do I do that!?'
• Hating boredom and avoiding finding out who we actually are
• Using the loud thoughts to suppress the underlying disturbing thoughts
• The double edge sword of changing our habits
• Be brave, adjust the volume and become AWARE of our awesome Self!

Related Articles: Pause for the Cause, Who the Hell Just Said That?!, Thoughtful Diffusion

20MRH: A Universal Lesson in Letting Go

Talking Points

• A prime example of The Snake Pit, overwhelmed with emotion
• The frustration of losing a memory I felt I needed to recall
• Allowing, what the f*%$ does that look and feel like?!
• How the forgetting served a larger purpose
• Probing 'just let it go'
• Finding the humour, and what keeps me going

20MRH: Learning to Fly

Talking Points:

• The power of visualisation 
• 'This is Me' and seeing the staircase
• One speed 'balls-out' and a dose of humility
• What goes up must come down
• Expansion in real time, realising there's a different way
• The gift awareness offers

Related Podcast: Seeing is Believing

20MRH: Adam Anger the Suppressed Snake

Talking Points (including copious amusing real life examples. Yay.)

• Why we suppress Adam, an exploration exercise!
• Conditioning, avoid angering others, hiding our shadows 
• Adding in EQ elements and processing the anger snake
• Separating fact from fiction, misplaced rage
• Identifying resentments
• Finding gratitude
• Chronic suppression as an identity
• Learning from Adam, what the anger snake taught me about myself 
• Learning about healthy boundaries
• Using anger for a higher purpose, shifting away from a victim mindset
• The misplaced birthday present (Snake on a plane? Joke!)
• Practical Exercise for noticing when Adam is hissing in our ear or writhing in our stomach
• Help end the vicious cycle, by being one less of a blatant asshole on this Earth

Embedded Links
Articles: The Snake Pit, Definition: Resentment, Costly Conditioning, One Fool's Emotional Adventure
Podcast: The Gift in the Garden of Gratitude, How am I Not Myself?

Related Books
mBraining by Grant Soosalu and Marvin Oka

The Big Book (AA)
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford

Future Related Articles (Teasers!)
Inimical Identities
Learning to Fly: Shifting Victim and Survivor Mindsets
Seeing is Believing: The Power of Visualisation

20MRH: The Sock Assumption

A simple yet succinct and rather hilarious example of how I noticed myself making judgments, and how I reminded myself to shift judgment to discernment.

Related Podcasts:
Creativity: The Highest Expression of the Brain
Compassion: The Highest Expression of the Heart
Courage: The Highest Expression of the Gut
Related Book
mBraining by Grant Soosalu and Marvin Oka

20MRH: The Gift in the Garden of Gratitude

In this podcast I explore the identity of being 'a wife' and the kind of wife I aspire to be; then I morph into a rant about finding gratitude... even in the face of painful situations.

WARNING: It's gets personal

20MRH: My Day in the Sun

Talking Points:

• My own think-feel-do cycle story
• Dating someone who's 'just not that into me' and the associated emotions
• Becoming aware of an underlying thought
• What emotional healing actually looks and feels like
• How social conditioning prompts infectious thoughts and how it impacts our emotions and behaviours

Related Article: Pause for the Cause, Costly Conditioning
Related Podcast: The Present of the Present

20MRH: The Tale of Twyla Tooth

Talking Points:

• The trauma story and history of Twyla
• Pop ups of self judgment in our stories
• Confronting the new smile and emotions associated with losing my tooth
• Contemplating my new identity as a toothless person
• Relation to the think-feel-do cycle and the story I heard in my head
• Finding the humour amongst the rabbit holes as a coping mechanism
• The irony of discovering that the only thing that's wrong with me, is that I think there's something wrong with me
• Awareness, it's a hard sell, and why 'they' say "ignorance is bliss"
• The best I can do to move forward

Related Articles: Who The Hell Just Said That?!, Pause for the Cause
Related Podcast: Days of Our Lives