Showing posts with label Existential Explorations (Vlog). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Existential Explorations (Vlog). Show all posts

Fathom 50: Serenity Buffer

 

The Ironic Power of Observing Oneself Being a Grumpy Asshole ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ˜…


๐Ÿค“Top 5 Takeaways๐Ÿ˜Ž

  1. Strong reactions are often symptoms, not causes. The real issue may be exhaustion or imbalance. 

  2. Ahimsa creates accountability. Personal values only matter when they influence behavior. 

  3. Rest is a buffer, not a luxury. Recovery protects emotional balance and relationships. 

  4. Achievement without recovery creates reactivity. Overachieving can become harmful when balance disappears.

  5. Reflection enables realignment. Pausing to understand why we reacted poorly allows us to make healthier choices going forward. 

๐Ÿค”Main Message๐Ÿคฏ

To live our values consistently, we need a "Serenity Buffer" — enough rest, recovery, and balance to respond Intentionally rather than react impulsively. When that buffer disappears, our behaviour often drifts away from the person we want to be. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’”

0:05 – 1:45 | The Wake-Up Call

  • Reflection triggered by reacting harshly toward beloved kittens.
  • Recognition that the reaction was disproportionate to the situation.
  • Honest acknowledgment that behaviour had drifted away from personal Values.
  • Realisation:
    • Self-awareness begins when we stop and ask,"Why did I react that way?" 

1:45 – 3:00 | Ahimsa as an Accountability Tool

  • Revisit of the guiding intention of Ahimsa (non-harm).
  • Commitment to non-violence toward: Self, Others, Animals, The wider World
  • Without that intention, there may have been no Pause for reflection.
  • Values create accountability when behaviour falls short. 

3:00 – 4:20 | Identifying the Real Problem

  • The kittens were not the issue.
  • The underlying issue was exhaustion and lack of recovery.
  • Entire week spent moving from: Work, Chores, Gym, Responsibilities
  • No meaningful downtime, relaxation, or restoration. 

4:20 – 5:20 | The New Moon Intention: Restore Buffer

  • Connection to a monthly self-Development intention: Restore Buffer
  • Originally related to maintaining a healthy weight buffer.
  • Realisation that the concept applies far beyond physical health.
  • Buffer becomes a broader principle for maintaining balance

5:20 – 6:40 | What Is a Serenity Buffer?

  • A buffer is the space that helps prevent extremes.
  • Rest and recovery create emotional stability.
  • For me, without a buffer:
    • Irritability increases.
    • Emotional Reactions intensify.
    • Patience decreases.
  • Mental wellbeing requires recovery just as physical wellbeing does. 

Key Theme

Rest is not indulgence; it is part of maintaining healthy balance. 


6:40 – 8:00 | The Overachiever's Trap

  • Internal Conflict between:
    • Achievement
    • Recovery
  • The "Overachiever" often labels rest as laziness.
  • Recognition that this belief is harmful.
  • Introduction of "Mindful Anarchy":
    • Consciously challenging unhelpful internal narratives.
  • Choosing balance over relentless productivity. 

8:00 – 9:45 | How Lack of Buffer Shows Up

  • Examples of unintended consequences:
    • Becoming impatient with a nephew.
    • Overreacting to a challenge at work.
    • Increased irritability and emotional Reactivity.
  • Signs that the buffer had been depleted long before the kitten incident. 

9:45 – 10:45 | Serenity and Relationships

  • Long-standing personal rule:
    • If unable to be kind, don't engage.
  • Example of learning not to call family when emotionally depleted.
  • Importance of Caring for yourself so you can show up well for people you love.

10:45 – 12:16 | Reflection and Realignment

Fathom 49: Intensely Intentional

 

๐Ÿ‘พ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ”—Key Points, Time Stamps & Relevant Links Follow Each Part๐Ÿ”—๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿค–


๐Ÿค“Top 5 Takeaways๐Ÿ˜Ž

  1. Intention Drives behaviour
  2. Ahimsa (non-harm) is my guiding principle
  3. Practice non-harm toward Self first
  4. Treat others with empathy, curiosity, and positive intent
  5. Progress comes from continual realignment, not perfection

๐Ÿค”Main Message๐Ÿคฏ

May I use my Intensity, passion, thoughts, words, and Actions to create as little harm as possible — to myself, to others, and to the Universe — and continually realign with that intention whenever I drift. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’ฏ


Part 1: Intentionally Intentional

0:05 – 2:10 | The Catalyst

  • Story about a new neighbor describing Summer as:
    • "Intense, but good, I think."
  • Reflection on personal intensity, 'Tism, and authenticity.
  • Key Insight:
    • Use intensity for good, never for harm.

2:10 – 6:45 | Why Intention Matters

  • I've experienced a deepening in this realm from my Previous Musings.
  • Everyone drifts from their Values under stress, fear, or uncertainty; becomes an Asshole at times.
  • Life is nuanced and messy, Prickly; good intentions don't always produce ideal outcomes.
  • Intention provides groundedness to:
    • Purpose
    • Direction (Moral Compass)
    • Course Correction
    • Behavioural Accountability
  • Growth comes through compassionate realignment, not perfection.

6:45 – 8:10 | Introduction to Ahimsa

  • Adoption of Ahimsa as a life-guiding intention.
  • Ahimsa = Non-harm / Non-violence
  • Applies to:
    • Thoughts
    • Emotions
    • Words
    • Behaviors
    • Actions
  • Extends to:
    • Self
    • Others
    • The Universe

8:10 – 12:00 | Origins of the Commitment

  • Personal turning point following a Major Breakup. and Yoga Psychology.
  • Vow to stop contributing negativity to the World.
  • Connection between:
    • Intention
    • Karma
    • Personal Responsibility
  • Recognition that negativity often creates more suffering (Self & Others).


Part 2: Ahimsa Towards Self


0:40 – 1:05 | Self Comes First

  • Cannot sustainably care for others without first caring for Self.
  • Self-compassion creates abundance rather than depletion.

1:05 – 2:20 | Mental Non-Harm

Key idea:


2:20 – 3:20 | Emotional Non-Harm

  • Move away from Shame and self-rejection.
  • Practice repeated Self-Acceptance.
  • Approach growth with patience and compassion.

3:20 – 4:25 | Physical Non-Harm

  • Focus on balanced wellness.
  • Avoid extremes:
    • Under-eating
    • Over-eating
    • Over-exercising
    • Under-exercising
  • Pursue Healthy Discipline that's well balanced.

Part 2: Ahimsa Towards Others


4:25 – 5:15 | Empathy and Non-Harm

  • Extend non-harm toward others.
  • Accept that we cannot Control how others think or feel.

5:15 – 6:10 | Clear Intent Matters

  • When harm occurs:
    • Clarify intent.
    • Communicate openly.
  • Take responsibility for our actions.
  • Do not take responsibility for others' Perceptions.

6:10 – 7:00 | Assume Positive Intent

  • Give people the benefit of the doubt.
  • Avoid assigning malicious motives.

7:00 – 8:00 | Kindness and Curiosity

  • Offer Support rather than judgment.
  • Recognise that negativity often reflects pain.
  • Stay curious about others' motivations.
  • Create space for people to be human.


Part 3: Ahimsa Towards Universe


0:04 – 1:00 | The Driver Analogy

  • Intention is the Driver steering the "Chariot of life."
  • Intention shapes decisions, relationships, and behaviour.

1:00 – 3:20 | Karma and Responsibility

  • Belief in karma and reincarnation.
  • Understanding:
    • We are not the judge.
    • We are not the scorekeeper.
  • Again, focus on personal responsibility rather than judging others.

2:10 – 3:20 | Leave No Harm Behind

  • Life aspiration:
    • Leave as little negative impact as possible.
  • Goal is not reward.
  • Goal is minimizing harm.

Key quote:

"I just don't want to leave any negative impact behind."


3:20 – 4:00 | Environmental Stewardship

  • Reduce single-use plastics.
  • Lower personal carbon footprint.
  • Non-harm includes care for the environment.

4:00 – 6:30 | Everyday Ethical Choices

  • Personal example of resisting unethical behavior.
  • Values and karmic accountability guide decisions.
  • Ethics become a daily practice rather than a rule.

6:30 – 7:40 | The Complete Ahimsa Framework

  • Ahimsa applies at three levels:
    1. Self
    2. Others
    3. Universe

7:40 – 9:35 | Compassion for People and Self

  • Offer:
    • Kindness
    • Encouragement
    • Support
    • Generous curiosity
  • Assume positive intent in others and Self.
  • Even Worrisome thoughts often originate from a desire to keep us safe.

9:35 – 10:15 | Use Our Powers for Good

  • Channel passion, intensity, and energy constructively.
  • Align actions with values.
  • Re-align whenever necessary, as many times as needed, and always with Compassion.

10:15 – 10:39 | Progress Over Perfection

  • Nobody is perfect.
  • Perfection is not required.
  • Consistent Course Correction is success.


Fathom 48: Tumultuous Transformative Tower

 

Part 1: Meandering Miracles of Mystifying Masochism ๐ŸŒˆ

  • Another Tarot reflection, one with a particularly confronting and thought-provoking image ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ณ
    • My Intention: Demonstrate How a Life-Altering Change Four Years in the Making Manifests, & How we co-create with the Universe ๐Ÿ’ซ
    • Transitioning between Victim & Survival states, and falling into a space where I can finally Thrive, a Safe place I Belong ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’
  • What's left once the Tower tumbles? What foundation are we left with? How stable was it? ๐Ÿคฏ
    • Four years, four fearsome lightning strikes... all for me to embed Self-Acceptance ๐Ÿ™
  • The Four Shattering Bolts๐Ÿ’ฃ
    • My First Strike - I Dared to Leave ๐Ÿƒ‍♀️‍➡️๐Ÿ™‰
    • The Universe's Strike Two - The Death, The Guilt, The Grief ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ™ˆ


Part 2: What Can Become of Cracked Foundations ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐ŸŒž

  • How we deal with what's beyond our control says a lot about the who we are; The Tower crumbles when we can no longer be that person for our own Health & Development ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ‘ป
    • Despite many emotions, my Heart had to find a new Wish ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’ž
  • The Four Shattering Bolts (Cont'd)๐Ÿ’ฃ
    • Third Strike Overall My Play - Shake shit up, Shanghai here I come! ๐Ÿ™Š๐ŸŽ‰
    • Fourth & Final Volleyed Back to The Universe - An utterly confounding confrontation of my Valued health via a 'Right Temporal Lobe & Subarachnoid Hemorrhage' ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ˜จ
  • I'm left with only GRATITUDE for each and every blow, because it's how I finally fulfilled my Resolution; only now can I truly THRIVE and revel in BEING ME ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿฆ„

Fathom 47: Heartfelt Insights

 

Part 1: A Wish Come True ๐Ÿ™

  • Why I share such deeply (if not Pitiful) personal Development examples & the science of Insights ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’ซ
  • Wishes as Heart Goals; how I applied this to my daily Tarot Reflection & current work 'Sitch' ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿค”
    • Effectively I don't enjoy dining out with family, friends or work colleagues, but is this an issue to FixSHOULD I WISH TO? ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ™Š 
    • AHA! MTRUWISITBACCEPTED, unconditionally; it's NOT to be 'Normal' &/or enjoy dining out, it's to live my joy in whatever way I Choose ๐Ÿฅน๐Ÿ˜‡
    • I'm no longer willing to forfeit my sense of SSASS-Y self acceptance for the acceptance of others; it's just not worth it ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฉ

Part 2: My Heart's Business & Business is Good ✊

  • Again, an ambition to role-model unapologetic self-exploration, an example of the process of expanding Awareness to enable better Decision Making (hopefully & theoretically) ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ™
  • A realisation of my Heart's sense of duty, it's job within my wholbeing is to lovunconditionally... and only now can I see how seriously it takes on that role  ๐Ÿ’ž
    • A Reflection on my life quickly enabled me to see that everything I've ever Felt is proof of this truth, loving every thought no matter how Distorted or Dysfunctional ๐Ÿ˜ณ
    • Finally Understanding my Heart's role is comforting & FREEING ๐Ÿชฝ

Fathom 46: A Worrisome Fundamental Attribution Error


Part 1: Wearying Worries ๐Ÿ˜จ

  • An existential application of the Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE) ๐Ÿค“
  • The interesting perspective on the tendency to Blame worrisome thoughts for an unhealthy accumulation of Stress, but is that the ACTUAL CAUSE๐Ÿค”
  • The Narrative we tell ourselves about a thought's MEANING, our ASSUMPTIONS about that meaning, and an ATTACHMENT to the narrative that compels us to act; trying to Control & prevent more uncomfortable thoughts seems more CAUSAL ๐Ÿซฃ
    • My examples around an unexplained Headache & fickle Kittens ๐Ÿ˜…
  • We can't control our thoughts, but we can control our Actions
    • Choose to FLOAT, Survival through Inaction! ๐Ÿคฏ๐ŸŒŠ
    • Let the Brain do it's Braining without unnecessary stress; staying Safe & Well by allowing the thought to exist without the need to attach or to 'do anything' ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜‡

Part 2: Rewarding Worries ๐Ÿคฉ

  • Let's leave the baggage behind & glimpse the silver lining! ๐ŸŒˆ
    • A highly beneficial use for my 'Broken' Narrative ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
    • Thinking that it is purely harmful, is yet another FAE! Animals that worry are more likely to Survive... ๐Ÿ’ฏ
  • My worry WOKE ME UP, made me Aware of the Healing to be done; gave me PURPOSE ๐Ÿ’–
  • So why is that narrative now causing stress? ๐Ÿค” 
    • My PURPOSE has changed, has shifted to Empowering Others through Coaching; I can't live them both! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคท‍♀️
    • My previous purpose served me well for a time; it certainly doesn't deserve to be Demonised ๐Ÿ˜‡๐ŸŒ 
  • My Higher Purpose could not have manifested without the previous one, which dragged my sorry ass through 40-years of undiagnosed neuro-Spicyness to authentic self Acceptance ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿฅณ

Fathom 45: Discovering The Driver

 

Part 1: Driving Lessons ๐Ÿค“

  • The last (perhaps ๐Ÿ˜‰) of the Chariot-inspired analogies, focusing on the entity in the Driver's seat; while it's great to understand our various Horseys, the role of the DRIVER may be the most significant... lest our Chariot end up in the ditch... repeatedly. ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’ฉ
  • Back 16 years, it all started with 'The Watcher' introduced in The Power of Now ad, but HTF to accomplish this without judgment; despite my best efforts, functioning as a wholehealthy & skilled driver was beyond me for almost two decades. ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿคท‍♀️
  • What DRIVES the Driver?! 
    • 'Coulds' & 'Shoulds' as key indicators ๐Ÿ”‘
    • Critical components for me include aligning with & living my: PurposeIntention & Values ๐Ÿ’ช
    • Essential behaviours for me to apply to my various 'horseys' to maintain my Wellbeing (yes, even when they're being little shits! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฆ‍♀️):
      • Loving ๐Ÿ’ž
      • Accepting ๐Ÿค—
      • Being Patient ๐Ÿ™
      • Rewarding ๐Ÿฅ•

Part 2: Sometime Smooth, Sometimes Swerving ๐Ÿคช

  • What do we do when Self Awareness isn't enough?! When all we're 'Aware' of is how shitty we're thinking, feeling & behaving, yet still unable to change it! ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜ 
  • Tuning into what Rewards our Horseys can help, but make damn sure they are TRULY rewards and not just Perceived rewards that end in Guilt... otherwise we're in for a rather bumpy ride, and I'm still on that adventure. ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ™ˆ  
  • For me, my #1 tool, the best I can Do, is SLOW DOWN; a simple expression for a complicated & difficult practice. ✋๐Ÿ™
  • If Knowing doesn't become Doing... then no, awareness won't be enough to make fulfilling improvements. Still, there's NO SHAME in the occasional swerve, otherwise life would be rather boring; I'll happily settle for no regrets. ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘Œ

Fathom 44: Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Part 1: Random 'Funny' Thoughts; Health Indicator or Madness ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฆ‍♀️

  • The things that keep me giggling to myself & why Internal Dialogue is a good mental health indicator ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜œ
  • Strap in for the heaps of crazy random shit that runs through my brain, usually whilst walking or exercising ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’ฉ

Part 2: Show & Tell! ๐Ÿ‘€⛅๐Ÿ˜ป

  • Reflecting on the Dizzy-driven Part 1, and why internal jokes are indeed best left Internal ๐Ÿคท‍♀️
  • Sit back, relax & laugh as I show some of the best things my 'Tism is particularly enjoying at this point in my life's adventure ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ”†
  • Fun & Existentialism... NOT mutually exclusive! 


Fathom 43: Big 'D' Energy

Big 'D' Energy Isn't Always As It Appears ๐Ÿ”‹๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Intuitive knowing that whatever flavour of Neurodivergence I have must account for my supernatural Dizzy-ing energy ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿคช
  • An Atypical 'D'-Type living in a 'AAA'-Wired world; are my oversized circuits innate, am I simply a classically Conditioned American, or is it both!? ๐Ÿค”
  • The perfect analogy for the Feedback that Demonised my passion & enthusiasm ๐Ÿ’ก๐Ÿ’ฉ
  •  In general, every Body / Battery have different capacities for different situations... things that sap our energy and things that recharge us! ๐Ÿชซ⚡
  • How to do INTEND to use our energy, what brings our Energy a sense of purpose? ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜Ž

Fathom 42: Mulish Mind & Horsey Heart

 

Part 1: Distinct Humanity & Mulish Minds ๐Ÿง 

  • The two things that make us distinctly human with the Intention of exploring the issues and opportunities that arise by revisiting our Chariot. ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿƒ
  • The SCARF Model! Why our brains stubbornly cling to certain triggers & the Dizzy-ing behaviours that can result. ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜…
    • Threats make our Mules bolt, while rewards are the carrots they'll chase... whether we consciously want them to respond these ways or not. ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿฅ•
    • My own example of taking shit personally & nearly constant anxiety, beyond all logic or Wellness-Based decision(s). ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ˜ณ
  • There is no good/bad or right/wrong, there is only Observing & Understanding these behaviours so that we can start to put ourselves back in the Driver's seat. 
Take this SCARF ASSESSMENT to Better Understand the Mulish Mind ๐Ÿค“


Part 2: Horsey Hearts & Keeping on Track ๐Ÿ™

  • Let's strap in, explore the Horsey Heart & what happens when it's not aligned with our Mule. ๐Ÿค”
  • The interesting consideration that the Horsey Heart seems immune to the Experience Bias that can cripple the Mulish Mind. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
    • My humbling example of Daringly entering the dating pool again, taking the Risk of falling for my Husband despite the Trauma & Psychotic Episode that Quilts together my relationship history. ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’ž
  • Keeping these equines BALANCED is not easy, but remains a worthy effort; lest we derail our Chariot by succumbing to truly Purpose-defeating decisions or acting like miserable Pricks. ๐Ÿฆ”

Fathom 41: Eustress & Me-Stress

 


Good Stress is Still Stress! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’ฏ

  • The stressors of positive change & gaslighting; conscious decisions to stay in a Wellness mindset ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ’–
  • In a Tizzy & overwhelmed, in flux between the new home and work... Facilitating - My Happy Space... yet still stressful! ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜Ž
  • A very naughty word... 'Just'... blah blah blah; it doesn't end well for the speaker or the listener ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’ฉ
  • EQ... Being both stressed & grateful is possible! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ™

Photos & Videos


NOTE: Click 'FEED VIEW' to see pictures from specific posts as the build & move-in progresses ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿคฉ

Fathom 40: The Devil Inside

 

Part 1: Damned If We Do, Damned If We Don't

  • Another Tarot-Inspired musing exploring the 'Material Demands' of life that can steal away our sense of Whimsy; leave us ignorant to our own Intuitive Callings ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ”ฎ
  • Entrapment via material pursuits and/or Societal Expectation, and the plethora of nuance that Cultural normatives create ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ”—
  • Demonisation abound... What's 'Typical', 'Normal', where do we draw those lines? Will we Dare to be different? ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿคช

Part 2: Wicked Whispers

  • Exploring that relationship with our Inner Callings and considering environmental impacts... Are we 'Too Much' for the area we inhabit / people we're surrounded by? Do we make ourselves Small to 'Fit In'? ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ™ˆ
  • How my American Dad helped me see an alternate Perspective on our thoughts & narratives, our Inner Demons ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ’ฉ
    • Observing it's little more than the Threat-Triggered brain, a Shadow that calls for Healing ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’
  • Examples of my own Wicked Whispers,

Part 3: Mindful Anarchy

  • Wicked Whispers as Good Intentions poorly delivered ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’ฉ
  • SSASS-Y determination Drives me from these demons... sans the need for Pity ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ‡
  • The fine art & benefits of calling on these BULLSHIT on these thoughts... Mindful Anarchy! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ช
  • We are not our thoughts, but we do get to CHOOSE which we take seriously and give Energy too; BE BRAVE, be a bit of an Asshole for Wellness Reasons instead of opting to be a fearful Prick ๐Ÿฆ”๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™Œ

Key Question to Consider

Are Our Thoughts, Feelings and/or Choices the Source of Our Own Sense of Enslavement? ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿคฏ