Ethereal Equation

I don't have much to say about this really, it's more about questions to ponder while digesting a seemingly uncomplicated equation. Nothing could be further from the truth however, because there are innumerable brain-busting layers to these three simple variables. For many, this effective equation is an awareness-expanding game-changer, creating rabbit hole upon rabbit hole; try not to get lost. Here we go! 🐇🕳🔦🤪

Firstly, time to get honest, we all know it's a bold-faced lie when I state 'I don't have much to say', I have plenty to say... always.  But, I'm super conscious of my Matariki Intention to softly plant seeds of awareness-raising concepts instead of pounding them down people's throats. So here's one of my first meager attempts. To set some boundaries and give myself a fighting chance, I'll attempt to mostly leave it to the questions at the end and largely let the memes do 'the talking.' There are a couple of key  themes we would do well to scrutinise first, however, to fully benefit from this psychological statement. 😅🤷✨

Mindset and Attitude are CRITICAL 🙏💞
Our reactions are inseparable from our mindset. If we believe the event has happened TO US, adopting a victim mindset, then the reaction and subsequent outcome will be vastly different than if we were to view the event as happening FOR US, seen from a growth mindset. An attitude of gratitude and willingness to learn from the event, whether we perceive it as 'good' or 'bad,' will heavily influence how we react (hell, we may choose not to react at all 🤔). 

Note: There is no victim-blaming here, no judgment, no 'right' or 'wrong'... Everyone deserves the autonomy of their responses (after all, we're each good people doing our best with what we've got), but we must also hold responsibility for the outcome(s) either way. 

Growth mindsets, gratitude, wisdom, EQ and self awareness all take time and practice to cultivate, which is why it's unsurprising that our go-to knee-jerk reactions are driven from our limbic system, based in survival, threat and fear instigated responses. We will seek to regain power and control, fight for our ingrained values, and put ourselves in a 'winning' position before we even realise what we're doing. Shit, I don't know about others, but I'll be damned if this type of response hasn't absolutely screwed me in the past. 👀👎😅

We so quickly become invested in the outcome that serves US best, gives US the most power and control, having things 'our way,' that we forget to ask others what they think, collaborating on what the outcome should be to benefit all the people impacted by the event. I can't think of a single example where asking others for their opinion hurt the outcome, but I can think of heaps of times that my decision turned out to be hilariously short-sighted. As a result, damage-control became necessary. Again, a slice of humble pie anyone? 🥧🤤😳

Shifting from our innate, anxiety-prone, threat-based and close-minded point of view to a wiser, prosocial, open-minded position, requires time! ⏰ In the short-term we need at least 15-30 seconds for the adrenaline to wear off, and in the long-term years to systematically re-wire those rapid-fire reactionary circuits to make better, BALANCED, decisions. Acknowledging that the more sustainable latter process indeed takes considerable time and inner work, I welcome everyone to do what I do in the meantime... rejoice in the hilarity of our tiny human egos, throwing adult temper tantrums when an event crops up that displeases us. We all regress and throw our toys when we feel hard-done by life's challenges, and though it may not be funny in real time, it's damn-sure amusing retrospectively. 👶🧸🤣🙄

[Shit, ok... that was a bit of a Sledgehammer-rant. I'll do better with the next point.]

Sleep On It 😴🛌
The equal sign is our signal to PAUSE. The length of the pause will be proportional to the quality of our response and thus the outcome. This is also needed to take stock of, and/or adjust our mindset... or chuckle at our own whimsy. 😉💩

[Nailed it! 🔨👍]

Questions to Consider

• What is the best long-term outcome? 
• Am I being, or will I perceived to be, an A-sshole or a balanced, emotionally intelligent person with integrity?
• What would I want to happen if there were no restraints or barriers in the way?
• Will I be PROUD of my response and the outcome in hindsight?
• What are the potential unintended consequences my response?
• Am I being authentic, and following my wise moral compass and displaying kindness / empathy / compassion, or am I lashing out because I feel hurt / disempowered / out of control / fearful / anxious?
• Will I be building TRUST and creating a safe environment for others by withholding judgment, or am I making false assumptions, listening to my brain's questionable narratives, and potentially damaging my relationships and/or reputation?
• Am I re-acting and making the issue worse, or pro-acting and leading myself and others towards an optimal solution?
• Am I likely to experience sensations of guilt or regret?
• If I make a dog's breakfast of the situation, am I willing to reflect and learn from the outcome so I can adjust my mindset/moral compass for future events?

Lastly, I'll just leave this gently here... 🙏💖😅

Original Publication Date 07 July 2024